Entry 11

I walking now without a cane and almost at full strength but still finding it difficult to do everything I used to. I expect that its gonna be this way for a while, but I look forward to being able to function normally again. Cant wait.

Legs are working great,

Tyler

Entry 10

I seem to be getting better every day which brings excitement to the possibilities of what my summer will look like. I have been praying that God will open a door for me to serve Him with my time, and I feel that He has not only taken time to help me get better but also provide me with an amazing opportunity for this summer. I have been given a chance to work at Camp Caroline all summer as the lifeguard, and I feel that by June 11, when I'm suppossed to go, I should be completely recovered and ready to go. I have been swimming and working out and trying to regain as much strength as I can. Today I was able to walk around the house without my cane which only makes me more excited as I go to bed tonight. Its interesting to me how the doctors can't seem to put a finger on what is going on, yet they seem to be quick to try and diagnosis me with a condition that fits the parameters of their field. I pray that God will give them wisdom and discernment to simply be truthful in any diagnosis they may give.

Legs are working better,

Tyler

Entry 9

Well today was another great day. I was actually able to stand on my own for a worship practice! Singing songs like the stand and such are great and so meaningful but when I could actually stand and sing it, well it was nothing short of a great time. I feel like God is working more and more in my life on a day to day basis and that I am actually starting to know what kind of man I want to be. God has taken me in his arms and has really got my attention this month regardless of whether or not at times I may try to squeeze free of Him. I have been tired of not knowing who I am and what I am or what I want to believe, and He has shown me grace in my unwillingness to listen to Him. I truly can't imagine my life without God. I have experienced so much of what it would be like and I would feel hopeless. How does anyone live without knowing Him? It takes more faith to believe in nothing at all...I just hope that I can be an example and a light for Christ as I grow and begin to look at my life with Him truly at the very centre.

Excited my legs are working better,

Tyler

Entry 8

Well it seems that I am getting better all the time which is so exciting. I am very encouraged that regardless of the past three weeks, I can feel hopeful that I will recover fully so soon. I pray that God will continue to heal me as I recover and get back to things.

Encouraged that my legs are working,

Tyler

Entry 7

Well I feel like a bit of a male cinderella haha. Kinda sureal in a sense that today and jsut before the fun night last night, I was able to stand for a bit and even, with a cane, walk very slowly up the stairs!! I can barely believe it myself and I am still holding my breath that at midnight I won't go back to the way it was haha. I am so blessed to have the constant support from my family and friends that even amidst the struggles of even recovering, I know without a doubt that there is a positive side to this all.

Wishing my legs would work even better,

Tyler

Entry 6

Today is an especially good day because I am lucky enough to have been invited to go to Theatre Calgary and see a musical!! So excited. Even amidst the frustration there is joy in the day to day events that I am so fortunate to experience with my friends and family.

Wishing my legs would work,

Tyler

Entry 5

So after a weekend away in Herbert Saskatchewan, I am feeling pretty rested and encouraged. My family and I decided really last minute to escape and visit my brother and sister-in-law, which was so good. I really enjoyed the time spent with them, seeing their new place and finally gaining some context to put all of their stories into. I also realized how much I miss them. Being a twin, I've never really realized how connected we are and it really makes me feel like an empty or half full battery when Im not around him. He is becoming such a man of faith and has emense trust in God. I am so proud of them and what they are creating together as a new family. I can only now focus in on this week, with doctors appointments and hopefully some physiotherapy and try and speed up my recovery so that I can get back to life per usual.

Wishing my legs would work,

Tyler

Entry 4

Well, today is another day stuck inside and even more mentally tired with the weather outside. I couldnt make it to help with youth last night with the snow. I dont quite have off road tires for the wheelchair yet. haha. Today I am feeling pretty tired, not like not enough sleep tired, but mentally and physically exhausted. I am really weak and I'm not sure if thats a result of just being ill or what. Passing the two week mark now, I have some appointments coming up that we hope to shed some light on what is going on. A good friend of mine asked me if thought this was Gods plan for my life to go through this. I don't think God ever intends people to become ill or suffer in that way but I think that God will use me regardless to fulfill the plan that he already has for my life. I believe that He knew this would happen, and is capable of taking it away, and I pray that He will do just that.

Wishing my legs would work,

Tyler

Entry 3

So the Emergency Outreach worker came over this afternoon and man was it frustrating. Not so much what she said because actually she was pretty helpful, but just the waiting that Im gonna have to continue to do here is getting beyond frustrating. Apparently the information I was given about someone being in contact with me this week was wrong and I actually was supposed to contact them...Now it could be another two weeks till I even get an idea of what is going to happen. Oh well, I guess its all part of the health care system right?...."Hurry up and wait!" Im not the first and Im so positive that I am not going to be the last person who has to deal with the sometimes or all the time disfunctional health care family.

Wishing my legs would work,

Tyler

Entry 2

So today is just another day bummin around my grandparents place and playing some games. I can't seem to force myself to read any more books! haha Ive read so many in the past while, I think its been more than Ive read in the last year. Hahaha. There is an outreach worker of some sort coming to the house here to evaluate my status or something like that, not too sure really, but it should be interesting to find out what she has to say. Hoping that I can get this resolved soon. I am already encouraged from starting this blog that this may be a good way for me to share whats goin on day to day.

Wishing my legs would work,

Tyler

Entry 1

Well I thought that I would try and create a blog and see how much I could record of what is going on in my life. I have been really healthy for most of my life and have never really had to go through any type of physical illness to the last two and half years. In grade 12, in 2007, I was admitted into the childrens hospital when I started having really bad back spasms that caused my body to become very weak. I would have little strength and was having a very difficult time regaining my strength as the spasms were quite frequent. I spent about 3 weeks in the hospital with multiple doctors thinking that I had different conditions. It turned out that they actually had no idea at all what was going on in my body and why a 17 year old guy would be crippled like I was. I wass able to recover for a short period of time when I had a relapse about a week later and was admitted right back into the hospital again. I basically sat around and waited to be told what was wrong and nothing at all was all we heard. I was again sent home because the medical staff did not know what to tell me and so eventually I began to regain strength and get back into my normal lifestyle as it was before this all happened. In Feb 2008, I had yet another relapse and this time visited the Foothills. Again with no luck and mulitple trips in and out of the emergency room, I ended up spending my grade 12 year at home and doing my work from the textbooks. I was fortunatley able to graduate and found myself taking a year off and moving out. I lived with a friend of mine for about 8 months and really enjoyed it, and finally moved home after stretching my finances to the max. In Aug of 2008, a neurologist at the Peter Lougheed was able to diagnose me finally with a condition called Stiff Person Syndrome (SPS) and I was told that I would basically have to deal with whatever would happen in association with that disorder. With few spasms for the rest of the year I was confident that I had conquered this and then I started to relapse again. With visits to the doctor and neurologist and being told there was really nothing we could do, I continued to try and move on after each time I would have some health trouble. In Sept if 2009, I decided to go to the University of Lethbridge, where I enrolled in Kinesiology/education, and I was so excited to be in school and back to my life as usual. October hit me relatively hard when one night, while just laying on the couch, I lost complete feeling and function of my legs. With help from my friends and brother, I was able to go to school and I just assumed that this was part of the Stiff Person Syndrome. I went to the hospital two days later with the worry that this was something different because I did not regain my feeling or function, and the doctors basically looked at me and said, "there is nothing we can do." While trying to tell my story to which ever doctor I needed to in the hospital, I was faced with constantly trying to explain myself and validate the claims I was making about the last year two years that I had been through. Nobody seemed to believe that I was telling the truth and I was dismissed and sent home to just get better. Try telling someone who cant move there legs one day and can the next, just to deal with it. You can imagine that it didnt go over so well. I was fortunate to get better two days later thanks to my friends and brother who prayed over me for probably about twenty minutes and not even a joke, I was able to walk about 5 minutes after we said "amen." I was so thankful and had new found trust and faith that I could possibly be better now. I was for the rest of the semester and then I decided to move back home to Calgary. On April 12 2010, I woke up for my typical work day and I was at work when I had a spasm in my lower back. I immediatley felt as though I needed to get home and so I left work with little explanation given as I could tell that my back was going to become my worst enemy in a very short time. Monday and Tuesday I spent walking around the house very weak and tired and not being able to sleep well at all...On Wednesday, April 14, 2010, I woke up with no mobility in my legs at all. I could not believe that it could happen again...I decided to wait it out and hope like last time that it would resolve but after a week of waiting, I was not convinced. I went to the hospital and was determined to find someone who would just pay me some attention, and finally I was able to sit with some doctors and neurologists and explain what was going on. After they deliberated, The doctor pulled me into one of the other areas and told me that they were not convinced that this event or seemingly the last one, has anything to do with my previously diagnosed condition...I was so frustrated. How could this be something new? Why am I having such bad luck when it comes to my health. Well its now April 28th and no change since the 14th. Tell me that your not supposed to worry about that and would probably freak out. How and why, so many questions unanswered and it seems that with no plan of attack and no sign of recovery, that I may not recover at all. I want to hope for the best and I really do want to do everything I can to get better, but what does a person do between now and then? How do you explain to your employer that you can't work anymore because you can't perform your duties? So here I am now, going to try and see what good I can do by sharing my story for others to keep up with and maybe take some interest in. I do not wish to compare myself with anyone who has a terminal illness or one more severe than what I seem to have but without my legs working, I can't seem to but wonder, how is this any better? As I try to stay encouraged,

I just wish my legs would work.

Tyler